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”David hesitantly brought the phone to his ear and said, “Hello?”“Good morning Boss,” came the chipper voice of his administrative assistant said.“Bonny, what is going on?”“What is going on, Boss, is this,” she said. “You and your lovely wife are taking the weekend off and going someplace nice.”“I have too many things going on this weekend Bonny. I appreciate your efforts but I can’t I can’t just take off.”“Now see, that is where you’re wrong,” Bonny said. “I got Henderson to sign the contract last night. It is sitting on your desk waiting for you to look it over Monday morning. As for your other so-called important meetings? Well, I’ve taken to the liberty to clear your schedule. I’ll see you Monday morning.”David looked at the phone when Bonny disconnected and then handed it back to the man. “There’s been a mistake,” he started to say.“Sir, excuse me but my instructions are, and I quote, ‘do not leave without them in your car even if you have to drag them by their ears’. I’m not. The DDARPA Science Officer, Comrade Director Makoyev, told Yana she was to build neutron bombs while Batschka, her beloved boyfriend, worked on a process to shrink them for concealment in small devices such as portable radios, the fender wells of Yugos, and very large, hollowed-out potatoes."Yugos?" Batschka had asked with a frown. "Why not Trabants or Ladas?"Comrade Director Makoyev threw up his arms in a temperamental display of curmudgeonly intolerance with questions to which he did not know the answers. "Damn it, Comrade, am being Science Director, not doctor of psychology! All I am knowing is Amerikanskis are dumb enough to be purchasing Yugos, but they are not being completely stupid."The weapon shrinkage chamber had been designed by a committee of Argentinian, Yemeni, and Haitian physicists and built by itinerant Romanian sewage plant workers in northern Bulgaria of steel recycled from substandard North Korean frog-clickers. The specifications and quality were precisely as one.
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